Dankmas Etiquette – How to be a Respectful Stoner this Kushmas Season

merry kushmas rules

In previous Kushmas Articles – I have written on how to be blazed at a family gathering without anyone noticing. This time however – weed is more popular than ever and it’s quite likely that many of your family members may know you smoke cannabis or may smoke cannabis themselves.

However, the mere fact that some people know you smoke weed – doesn’t mean you can go all Cheech and Chonging about fucking up Christmas for everyone else. Additionally, the way people perceive your cannabis consumption reflects on every one else who smokes as well – at least within the perspective of those you affect.

So here’s a little guide to be the dankest stoner in the party, the one everybody wants to be like – Mr. or Mrs. Cool in the flesh.

Here’s the Dankmas Rules of Engagement:

Treat it as if you were smoking a cigarette

While people may not like tobacco smoke – they typically don’t think smokers are the devil reincarnate as they may do when you smoke pot. It all depends on their current views on the subject matter. Considering that nearly 70% of the US is in favor of legalizing cannabis for recreational purposes – it’s safe to say that “most people” won’t have a problem with someone smoking weed.

The problem comes with “how it will affect their space”.

If you’re going to be taking hits of a blunt or a joint, imagine it was a cigarette. Would you be able to smoke a cigarette where you are right now? No? Then fucking move to a place where you can and toke up!

While you may enjoy the sweet smell of Cheeba, others may not. Take a walk outside, go to the porch. You’re not hiding, but you are being considerate to the non-tokers.

Don’t preach, listen, ask…

While you may be 100% on “Cannabis OS”, some people might still be running “Prohibition 2.0”, which could provoke some tense clashes.

In order to avoid this, you’ll want to refrain from talking about weed – even when you’re really baked. If there’s any possibility of hostility due to ideological differences – wtf, engage?

You know the outcome. What are you trying to prove? It’s not like the person you may or may not be arguing with will convince you not to smoke.

Rather, listen to what they say…then simply ask a question that will force them to come up with the answer you want. It’s that simple.

Well, it’s not simple – you need to listen attentively and understand the dynamics of the conversation, but in the long run, being passive and listening actively usually is a good approach to most confrontations.

Try not to engage with confrontations and focus on what matters – having a good time with family. Politics is for strangers on Twitter you’ll block out of rage.

Don’t get shitfaced!

If you’re going to be toking up in front of “non-tokers” – pace yourself. Be sure that you know you’ll be on your game. I know that there are seasoned stoners that will tell me, “Dude – I can handle my shit” but this is not directed to you guys.

This is directed to the nabbert that is toking up for the first time in front of their family members and essentially establishing the “first impression” for stoners within their minds. If you get too high, space out too often, laugh too often at dumb shit or simply become a vegetable – you’re burning us all.

So please – pace yourself. Take a hit, let it sink in. You’re probably a bit nervous since you’re going to be “coming out of the growers closet” if you catch my drift. Relax, take it easy and just show folks that smoking weed is as normal as drinking a beer.

I have convinced more people by simply “being cool” that cannabis is not a big deal than my words could ever achieve. Well – maybe not, I am a writer so I’ve written a LOT on weed.

Be the Bigger Person

There may be a situation where you simply have to refrain from smoking. This may boil your blood. This was your year to smoke openly in front of your family. I know, it takes courage to come out and say, “This is who I am”, but sometimes – other people aren’t ready.

Maybe your “Meemaw” is routed in a religious upbringing and you smoking weed would be akin to getting “Dirty Sanchez-ed by Satan” – maybe don’t smoke weed. After all, what will it achieve to force your ways on other people, especially if not smoking a few hours is no big deal.

If all else fails – get a hitter!

If you can’t smoke openly – then get yourself a little hitter and sneak into the bathroom every now and then. You’ll be fine. Spend some time with your family!

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